In a recent New York Times Opinionator column, Tim Kreider, an author, talks about an intricate issue of human relationships. He discloses the darker reality of how we are thought by other people in a rather negative light, against our existential desire to be loved unconditionally.
An incident happened to Kreider when he received an accidental email which was meant to be traded between his friend and his co worker and it contained some gossips about him. At first, he was shocked to find that someone was gossiping about him behind his back. Then he felt hurt at seeing his friend’s unsympathetic behavior towards him. Finally, this incident led him to realize how little room we occupy in other people’s hearts and that everyone else does not always view us in the forgiving light that we wish they would do.
We all hope to be understood and be accepted by others, sometimes without a condition. But when it comes to understanding and accepting others, our brains start to pick all the reasons why we cannot understand and accept them. Yet simultaneously we count on them to understand our anger.
Kreider in his article explains that unconditional love is to love someone despite their infuriating flaws and unforgivable absurdity. Many of us, including myself, demand this act of benevolence from others but when it comes to giving it, we find it the most difficult thing to do. I often see myself stuck between wanting for forgiveness and being reluctant to giving it.
Socrates has left with us his legendary quote “Know Thyself” and this asks us to turn a table around and see ourselves objectively.Would you be able to forgive all the flaws and the absurdities of your own character and love
During one of the TAC meetings, a question was asked about the objectivity of knowing ourselves. Is what I know about myself an objective truth? Or is what others say about me an objective truth? The discussion led to a conclusion that the only objective way to know about ourselves is through the Bible.
The Bible tells us that we are all sinners. We are all sinners and that we need to repent and ask for forgiveness. Without realizing all the infuriating flaws and absurdities of ourselves, we can never grasp the meaning and the value of an unconditional love.
The one and the only person who has given us true unconditional love is Jesus Christ. He has sacrificed and died for us despite of all our flaws and sins. He loved us and gave His life to save us. His love is grace for grace which we have not deserved. In His unconditional love, let us strive to forgive and love.